washcloth

[ABSOLUT CHARVEL]

wash cloth:

There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.

She responded, “It’s my wash cloth.”

Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor had shaved her pubic hair.

The boy asked, “What happened to your wash cloth?”

The mother responded, “I lost it.”

The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother’s washcloth.

A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, “I found your washcloth.”

The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, “Where did you find it?”

The boy answered, “The maid has it! She is washing daddy’s face with it.”

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Brain Transplant:

A mid-level Blonde executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.

After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate.

“That’s great!” the executive said. “But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.”

“Yes, sir, it can,” the director replied. “An ounce of accountant’s brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist’s brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president’s is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat’s brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.”

“Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat’s brain? Why on earth is that?”

“Do you have any idea,” the director asked, “how many Democrats we would have to kill to get an ounce?”

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Women with big breasts…

..can get a taxi on the worst days

..have a neat place to carry spare change

..have always been the centre of the arts (art)

..make jogging a spectator sport (a personal favourite of mine)

..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub

..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)

..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie

..can always carry a little extra

..always float better

..know where to look first for lost earrings

..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner


Women with small breasts…

..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public

..always look younger

..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap

..can always see their toes and shoes

..can sleep on their stomachs

..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars

..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts

..know that everything more than a handful is wasted

..can come late to a theatre and not disrupt an entire aisle

..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out.