surviving divorce...

[Harold Krisna]

My marriage of 23 years seems to be dissolving fast. Why? For the love of God,i really don't know. Just seems like two strangers anymore,neither with interests even close to when we met.She has grandkids now(previous marriage,not my kids),and i REALLY DO LOVE 'EM,BUT THEIR NOT MY ENTIRE LIFE,seems to be hers.
I was a long haired "rock star" when we met,23 years later,she's into Garth,and I'm still rippin' off C,C,De ville riffs(it's not easy being cheesy,lol)....
Probably my fault,i spend EVERY available moment in the studio,practicing,learning cakewalk,pro-tools,etc.I work 60 to 70 hours EVERY week!Is it wrong to enjoy my tiny bit of free time?
BUT,i thought that was the deal,from the start,rule one was "don't fuck with my music,i'll never be a star,but it's my life!"
My first born got his first guitar at 3,back then it was BIG bucks to find a quality half size(he still has it),HE'LL BE SOMEBODY! plays 27 instruments.....Lead vocals in our band,and a better bassist,you'll never find...
Yeah,I'm proud of him,can you tell?
My daughter born deaf,after surgery's and such,finished high school with a letter man jacket full of band stripes!
get the picture of where music ranks in my tiny world ?My wife has been good to me our whole marriage,put up with the 50 weekends a year of gigging,all the gear i've bought,etc.
We had a talk tonight,a talk,no screamin',no "you did this"...,no bullshit,and for the first time in months i thought there was hope,...
then she said" i can't stand you,you're still 18,and will never be any thing more".....DUH! Thought my delusions of grandeur were spelled out from the start!?! not many 18 year olds i know knock down 70k a year,and work 7 days a week......
She's cheated twice,i can forgive,but never forget.
Me,never once.
There's 2 sides to every story,and you're only hearing mine,but what would you're mindset be?
Would you try once more,or make a clean break(is there such a thing?)
Bummer of a thread,but i needed a shoulder to cry on....
thanks guys for listening.
Advice? always listen,seldom follow...
feel free to call me a self centered SOB,heard it before...
but you're thoughts would be appreciated
PEACE!!